In Matthew 19:5 Jesus said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh.|
Obviously, as far as we can see, upon marriage a husband and a wife are not physically joined together. What did Jesus mean by the two will become one flesh?
If Jesus had said, the two will become one soul; we would have no difficulty understanding what he meant, as we would agree that he was speaking in spiritual terms. But to say that the two will become one flesh, when in reality they remained separate individual persons presents a problem to the reader.
However, if we could pull back the curtain and look into the spiritual universe, we will see the souls of the husband and wife as one soul. This should not surprise us. Our souls do not have physical limitations, thus can merge with each other, as seamlessly as combining two separate cups of water into a bowl.
When this merging of the two souls into one manifest itself in the physical lives of the husband and wife, it orientates their words and actions toward one goal, which is to maintain love, peace and happiness between them. So long as they remain together, it is right to say, they have become one flesh, since their love, hope, and thoughts have merged into one.
This been true, when a husband hurts his wife physically or mentally, she alone feels the physical or mental pain, but in spirit he is inflicting such pain upon himself, as instantly, his action will negatively affect the common goal that binds them together.
The self-inflicted spiritual pain will manifest itself in strange ways in the life of the husband. He may lose his job or business, he may suffer from depression, contract a debilitating illness, or some other form of misfortune. These will not be punishment from God, or a curse from his wife, but the bitter fruits of his own words and deeds, as we read in James 1:13-15.
Similarly, a wife who hurts her husband physically or mentally is hurting herself in spirit, to be followed soon by the negative physical manifestations tied to such spiritual pain. Confirming that the pain we inflict upon others will catch up with us before we die: even to the last second of our lives.
Knowing that how we treat our spouses will trigger spiritual consequences that will boomerang in our physical lives, for better or for worse, is an important revelation to which we must give serious attention.
Meanwhile, we read in First Corinthians 7:3-5 that the wife’s body does not belong to her alone, as the husband’s body does not belong to him alone. Therefore, they should not deprive each other, as that will allow Satan to enter the marriage, and destroy the common goal that binds them as one flesh.
Again in Ephesians 8:22-23 we read that a wife should submit herself to her husband as head of the family. The logic behind this precept is that intrinsic in his nature, a man is a fighting machine built to exercise hard power, but a woman is a nurturer built to exercise soft power. Thus, when attacked with hard power a man will instinctively fight vigorously to avoid losing.
In Spirit and In Truth
A good argument can be made that soft power is more effective in achieving its goal, because hard power engenders fierce resistance, while soft power engenders very little or no resistance at all. Consequently, when exercised sensibly, soft power can get a husband to do what he originally did not want to do, while still believing that he is in control.
Non-manipulative use of soft power by a wife involves ensuring that her husband and children are properly fed, their clothes washed and ironed, the home cleaned everyday; while at the same time not forgetting to take care of herself in health and physical appearance.
She should conduct herself so that her husband finds her indispensable in his life, and be moved everyday to hurry home from work to show his appreciation in words and in deeds.
While the above household chores may be daunting for a single person to do, a wife should use her negotiating and social skills, and if needed her charms, to coax her husband into helping, or seek outside help. What she should not do is to constantly upbraid him, or psychologically make him feel guilty for not helping with the household chores.
This been said, being the head of the family comes with responsibilities, as we read in Ephesians 5:28, In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. This puts upon the husband the moral obligation to respect his wife, to protect her with his life, if need be, to protect her emotionally by being there for her at all times, and protect her financially.
A husband who fails to respect and protect his wife cannot hold onto a good wife for long, because he does not deserve such a wife.
Author Bio :
For the past 30 years I have studied the bible in search of answers to the myriad of human problems. I have put some of my findings in five ebooks. For detail go to http://selfhealingbyfaith.com.
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