The question when looking at Sacred Sexuality as a path for you is, is the Tantric path the right one for me? If this question has come up for you then I hope you will consider a few things.
First, ask yourself what is it about Tantra that attracts you? Is it for a more fulfilling sex life? Do you feel that it is part of you spiritual path and will give you a deeper connection with yourself? Is it because you and your partner desire to have a deeper connection and more intimacy?
Does your partner, if you have one, want to study with you? I have had many clients who come to me solo because their partner is either not interested or just not very open to this type of teaching. It can be very difficult if you wish to learn Tantra and your partner does not as you will naturally want to practice with someone that you love. Of course if your partner and you have an agreement that it is fine to study Tantra on your own, then great. Otherwise I suggest you rethink if this is the best time for you to do this for your relationship. If you are single then there is no problem at all and you are free to do as you like.
It is essential that before you choose a teacher to train with that you first fully understand why you desire to study Tantra. For several months I have written about the many facets of Tantra and I cannot stress enough that Tantra is a way of living your life that includes your sexual expression. To embark on any path without first understanding all that it has to offer is to cheat yourself of the many gifts it has to give.
The only way you can answer any of these questions is to go inside yourself and feel into what your heart has to say. For some Tantra is a natural spiritual path. They feel that they have always been tantric even though they did not know it was called that. For others it offers something new and exciting and appeals to them because they are ready to open themselves to loving more fully. And still for others Tantra is a doorway that can enhance your relationship. Whatever you discover I encourage you to follow your heart.
Once you have made your decision to embark on the path of Tantra, the next thing you will need to decide is what teacher is the right one for you? There are literally hundreds of Tantra teachers all over the world. Of course if you are looking for someone locally you can start there first. While looking for a teacher ask yourself these questions (taken from an article by Crystal Dawn.)
Questions to Ask Teachers
While surfing and studying, pay attention to your own antenna. What do your senses tell you about certain teachers? Do you resonate with their approach? There are various Tantra-related mailing lists and news groups where announcements are posted and participant experiences are discussed.
Of course, you"ll be curious about how experienced a potential teacher is. Many teachers have decades of successful practice and some do not. In a field where depth of knowledge determines effectiveness, high-quality preparation and teaching experience are vital. But in a spiritual pursuit like sacred sexuality, chemistry, approach, and relevance to your personal situation may be more important. A beginner with an open heart and mind can learn something from any self-appointed teacher who is just one step ahead on the same path.
Your decision about choosing a teacher will be more informed if you first find out what kind of Tantra background they have. Did they attend a teacher"s training? Do they have a personal practice? Ask them how Tantra has changed their life. With such ancient, obscure, and unregulated origins, every school and lineage of Tantra has its own scent, flavor, and vision. What style of Tantra are you looking for? Heart-centered, meditation-centered, or body-centered?]
Style also extends to teaching style. Most teachers offer private sessions to singles and couples as well as group workshops, most of which are weekend introductions. Only the most established instructors offer a complete curriculum with advanced stages. To dig deeper into a teacher"s approach, try to discover how much lecture, feedback, discussion, and individual work is included.
What"s the balance they hold of thinking, talking, and doing? How hands-on is their course? How explicit are sexual demonstrations and practices? Are intimate exercises done in public or in private? What"s their balance of work with the body, mind, spirit, personal energy, and sex?
Many teachers offer introductory workshops that you can try on first and then decide if they are a fit. Just remember that Tantra is an experiential path, and so you may have to try on a few teachers before you find the right one for you.
In closing just remember to trust your intuition when choosing the right teacher for you. Take some time to sit and once again feel into yourself and ask what resonated with you on a deep level? Once you have answered this question you will know what to do.
Author Bio :
Luminessa Enjara is a teacher of Tantra and Sacred Relationships and has been a sex educator for over 15 years. She is the founder of The School of Womyn's Mysteries, an on-line mystery school for women. The School of Womyn's Mysteries She currently has a private sexual healing and spiritual counseling practice in Sonoma County.
You can read more about Tantra on her column at: Tantra SF Examiner
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