Once upon a time, we fell in love with a wonderful woman who gave us a home and family. Our mutually inner-directed anger and self-hatred destroyed our marriage and risked ruining our relationships with our children. We prayed to be reunited with them when we could learn to make amends.|
We believe that people have the potential to become living gods and goddesses. If you follow quantum theory and popular notions about the plenum, then you may already believe that this may already be true. From our point of view it is already true; we just need to learn how to manifest it. The process to manifest this may require some discipline and hard work, however, as we see it, your happiness, and our own happiness is a direct product of the work we choose to do on ourselves.
So are you worth it?
We are pretty sure that real happiness can only come from inner peace, peace we create for ourselves by resolving our own anger and hatred that is directed against ourselves either by ourselves or by our social and cultural human operant conditioning.
We worry a bit about cultures that advocate violence and teach people to hurt themselves or others. As nearly as we can tell, nearly all cultures we are familiar with help to train people to hurt themselves or to hurt others. We think we all need to move past our own pain and the suffering we create for ourselves if we are to join together to mutually help save our worlds from potential, possibly imminent, self-destruction.
We are often amused by all the apocalyptic programs we see on TV, in movies, and on the internet, etc… however, they represent a potentially disturbing trend. There are many ways in which the world may end; in one sense, our worlds are all ending all the time.
Apocalyptic visions can always be fun toys to play with, but what concerns us is how these messages on TV, in movies, etc… are being used to manipulate large masses of people. We see a trend in which we believe many, many people are being set up to believe things that may ultimately be utter nonsense because these beliefs can be used to control them and may ultimately direct them to their own various, and often, potentially lethal disadvantages.
We don’t much like manipulation, we regard it as a subtle form of tyranny. We do not like tyranny in any form, not even when such tyranny may ostensibly be represented as being for our own good.
Don’t be fooled by anyone who tries to set themselves up as an authority figure, ourselves included; the best authority in your personal life will always and only be you.
Authoritarianism is a negative sum game; the more you play it, the deeper you get; the further away from yourself and your own best interests you are drawn by it.
This is not to say that we think nihilism, narcissism, or any other self-aggrandizing approaches are any better, they are not.
We regard anything we may learn to do which takes our energy away from ourselves by pandering to cultural expectations for rewards as being perilous at best, and often, as being, ultimately, self-destructive.
You alone can know what is true to you.
You alone can learn how to uphold an image of yourself that you can deeply love and admire according to your own values and principles.
If those values and principles you uphold as standards to yourself can be shared with friends and families, so much the better, but they need to start with you; they need to start with your honest evaluation of your own self worth, rather than a critical evaluation that mimics the voices of your peer groups or family.
We believe that all such fundamental self-examination must be an evaluation made entirely on your own terms; regardless of how you choose to define them.
Some people will regard this as dangerous talk; they will say it leads to madness, to psychoses. In some regards, they may be correct, however, no culture on earth is either sane or rational. Even the choice to believe in rationalism is actually an irrational belief.
A belief in rationalism is just as much a form of what may be regarded as blind faith as believing in God or believing in atheism.
The reason people will say that examining yourself on your own terms leads to madness is because such an examination must ultimately destroy all of your existing relationships to your societies and cultures; this always threatens those people who depend upon such artificial crutches for social and cultural support, such as your family, friends, and peers.
This is what Salvador Dali was trying to express in many of his paintings.
All societies offer to give you validation and security in exchange for taking away your liberty.
To ensure that you are well motivated to surrender your liberty, most societies and cultures instill a nearly invisibly rooted deep feeling of worthlessness and insecurity in all of its members. First they break you down, and then, if you are among the privileged, they build you up again.
Insecure people learn to direct themselves into niches in whatever cultures offer them the most comfort. They play their assigned roles and limit themselves to socially approved behavior in exchange for social strokes, regardless of whether they are positive or negative social strokes.
Too many people are convinced they do not deserve to be well treated; they too often learn to seek attention through negative strokes because it is the only kind of attention they can allow themselves to feel comfortable with.
You don’t deserve that, your mom doesn’t deserve it, no one does, but fear keeps most people playing the same negative-sum game, a game in which we all learn to hurt ourselves over and over again to no other purpose than to maintain our status quo within whichever cultural and social systems we have chosen to support ourselves with.
We all risk becoming too deeply invested in our own societies and cultures to challenge them successfully when we need to do so to stop our own injustice.
We all need to learn to stop our own injustice. Not only must we must learn to stop our injustice to others, but especially, we must learn to stop our injustice towards ourselves.
Alas, we all learn to sell out our rebellion against injustice in exchange for false security.
Must we all sell out?
Will you sell out?
Possibly we may all sell out, however, if you do decide to sell yourself short, then really knowing who you are and resolving your inner conflicts can help you make a better bargain for your soul.
We find that we, ourselves, are still full of conflicts and paradoxes.
We are still fighting, yet we seek peace.
We resist most things we recognize as having harmed us in the past, but all resistance creates pain.
We want to be part of various social and cultural groups, but only on our own terms.
We seek unity, but we still hold ourselves apart.
It all seems to come down to a matter of trust.
If we do not yet fully trust ourselves, then we cannot allow others to trust us. We cannot allow ourselves to trust others if we do not trust ourselves first. Therefore we must learn to trust ourselves before all others.
We are working on this paradox; we are learning to trust both ourselves and to trust other people as part of a personal program of self-development we have chosen to create for ourselves.
In our search for what we hold true about ourselves we have removed ourselves from many social ‘norms’ for which many members of our societies and cultures may often choose to judge us as being mad. However, our human operant conditioning is, almost certainly, entirely socially and culturally derived; if we are to reprogram ourselves to think in healthier ways and to feel healthier emotions we believe we must first isolate what belongs to ourselves, and what belongs to others, and then fix what we can in ourselves.
Once we feel more fit, we believe we will be better able to rejoin our abandoned societies and cultures, but we will bring change when we return. Such change is almost always regarded as a threat, so we may find ourselves labeled psychotic in order to mitigate our impact by ostracizing us from mainstream societies and cultures.
We accept this; we embrace it.
Reality, as we see it, is so much more than most people have been taught to believe it is. However, the reality we now perceive makes us feel much more liberated, much freer, much better fit to withstand the vicissitudes of our own internal storms.
We are working towards an evolving model of psychological and emotional health that embraces madness and defines it as a part of a healing process.
We have seen many books and shows that are pointing in this direction, particularly authors such as Deepak Chopra.
There is a cultural storm approaching. The disquietude in too many people’s hearts is leading them to understand how fundamentally flawed all of our societies and cultures really are. Many artists, musicians, and writers are all pointing the way towards a re-evaluation of our perceptions of both who we may be as individuals, and how we may perceive ourselves in the terms of the socially constructed worlds we must all live in.
We recommend you look into the Deconstructivist movement.
On the surface deconstructivism may seem like a lot of intellectual hogwash, but there are many, many people engaged in trying to analyze and break down the ways in which we learn, to understand our human cognitive development and our culturally and socially acquired habits of thinking and feeling that lead us to ritual self abasement and even self destruction.
Too many people are increasingly deeply dissatisfied with themselves and their lives; that dissatisfaction is waiting to be lead into a revolutionary change.
We would rather each person learn to lead themselves through this change, rather than follow a wolf in sheep’s clothing into yet another self-serving social system that may still perpetuate poverty, injustice, and abuse.
We hope you will not nurture hate in your heart toward yourself or any other persons. No one ever really deserves to be hated; particularly, no one ever really deserves to be hated by themselves, not even fascists, dictators, or murderers.
As nearly as we can tell, hating is an activity that is far more self-destructive than it is destructive of those people or things that we may choose to hate.
We know many cultures thrive on hate; we enjoy the products of such cultures because they speak to the parts of ourselves that are still angry. However, our anger and hatred are always less about the purported targets of our anger and hatred than they are about ourselves and the self-destructive states in which we learn to regard ourselves.
We are pretty sure that all hatred and anger directed outwardly are really just a redirection of internal states of hatred and anger that we really direct against ourselves, regardless of whether we direct them against ourselves consciously or unconsciously.
We learn to try to hide from our own self-hatred by projecting our anger and hatred outside of ourselves, by making them seem like someone else’s fault.
In one sense, this is true; most, or possibly, all of the ways in which we learn to hate ourselves are really socially and culturally derived self-abuse mechanisms. Therefore, our sense that our anger appears to be caused by something external to ourselves may seem to ring true. However, we learn to take the externalization of our anger and hatred too far, we learn to assume that it is some specific person, persons, or conditions at fault; we ignore how our own conscious or unconscious cognitive and emotional behavior fuels our anger against ourselves before turning it outwardly against others.
We know your mom still loves us in her own way, and that we are still in love with her as well. Alas, our mutual hatred of ourselves could only find outlets that ultimately made us hurt each other as well.
We had a codependency relationship.
We both needed to learn to stop perpetuating our rituals of self-abuse that motivated us to hurt each other. We both needed to stop fueling our own self-castigating cognitive and emotional processes by chronically hurting the people around us whom we most loved.
We may be on the verge of discussing this sort of thing in ways more people can understand, including ourselves. However, at that time, we simply had no words for what we were learning during the breakdowns of our relationships with you and the rest of our family. We are still learning how to communicate these ideas, but then, so is everyone else.
We are learning from the cultures that have hurt us; we are learning how to heal. We hope to share this with you if you are interested.
Author Bio :
Greg Gourdian is part of a collective being, we are composed of many entities participating in a psychic network.
We currently call ourselves Grigori Rho Gharveyn. Please feel free to contact us at any time.
We love to write and teach about spiritual evolution, ascension, auras, chakras, alchemy, tarot, channeling, metaphysics, parapsychology, sociology, psychology, quantum physics, etc...
For our most recent work please see our current blog: MySpace Blog
For older work please look here: Google Blog
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