Whether we are singletons or multiples, we may all sometimes unconsciously sabotage our own lives. We may often seem entirely unaware we sabotage ourselves. People with DID may have an advantage over singletons because multiples may often more easily watch themselves in action to learn how they sabotage themselves first-hand.|
DID is an acronym for Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly called MPD, or Multiple Personality disorder.
As difficult as it may sometimes be for people with DID or MPD to identify our saboteurs and to then neutralize the interference they create in our lives, people like ourselves, people with DID/MPD who are aware of being multiple, may often have a big advantage in this area over singletons.
This is an important advantage to the DID community because, while singletons may not face many issues that may be unique to members of the DID community, singletons, just like multiples, often face sabotage from themselves.
Therapies and management techniques required by singletons to help prevent them from sabotaging themselves are often much easier for multiples to apply to themselves.
All people have unconscious motivations to harm themselves rooted in feelings of guilt.
All people tend to punish themselves for things they believe they have done wrong, things they may have done to hurt themselves, or their families, friends, and peers, etc...
Many people have trouble with feelings of guilt. Many people don’t know how to cope with their guilty feelings in healthy ways; their guilt may often seem to fester and motivate them to harm themselves.
Many people cope with their feelings of guilt with denial; they often deny to themselves or to others that they have anything they believe they should feel guilty about.
Sometimes, people who feel guilt that they prefer to deny will do other things to feel guilty about; particularly if they do things that they feel more comfortable to honestly allow themselves to feel guilty about.
In this manner, many people may unconsciously transfer their repressed or denied feelings of guilt by misdirecting themselves to allow themselves to feel guilty about things they feel safer sharing with themselves.
Many people may feel compelled by their own guilt to setup something much safer to feel guilty about. They do things to make themselves feel bad about themselves and then misdirect their repressed or denied feelings of guilt away from the more frightening or more upsetting true sources of their guilt.
If we cannot acknowledge our guilt, it is harder to understand why we may often sabotage ourselves by deliberately, albeit often unconsciously, alienating the people whom we most love or depend upon.
Without well-established avenues into the hidden depths of their own psyches, most singletons are often at a bigger disadvantage than are multiples when they want to learn why they sabotage themselves. Singletons are more likely to be unaware that they sabotage themselves or they may be more likely to deny doing so.
This is because people with DID who become more co-conscious, who become more aware of their alters’ thoughts, feelings and activities, may often be better able to observe themselves in a manner that many singletons may have difficulty with.
While all people may have a silent inner observer, a part of themselves that seems to sit back and only watch themselves with a sense of detachment, many people prefer to repress their experiences of self-observation.
Many people may be motivated by fear that such a detached role as an observer of their own lives makes them feel powerless. Some people may feel particularly disturbed by any experiences of any forms of co-consciousness or self-awareness within themselves.
Such co-conscious experiences are common within both multiples and singletons. Our personal roles as the silent observers of our own lives have already been observed or documented within members of all communities of people on Earth.
However, for singletons, voyeuristic experiences of self-observation may be more frightening because they have no comfortable models whereby to easily perceive or understand themselves as being people who are somehow divided within themselves.
This is not to say it is easy for multiples to be divided within themselves, however, multiples with a high degree of co-conscious may typically be better able to accept this sort of experience, they may be better prepared to examine these experiences openly and honestly, rather than simply sweeping them under a rug.
Our DID communities may have advantages in this area because they are more likely to have opportunities to get to know themselves better by observing their alters in action.
Multiples may often get to see their alters in action when they sabotage themselves.
This often helps multiples to learn that their self-sabotage is real in ways that may often, at first, escape the notice or awareness of singletons, particularly singletons who habitually prefer to remain in denial about the ways in which they may sometimes deliberately hurt themselves or others with their personal vendettas against themselves.
As with singletons, one important thing is not to get angry with ourselves in response to our own acts of self-sabotage. There are always critical issues involved in self-sabotage that motivate us to hurt ourselves or to hurt other people around us.
Self-hatred is perhaps the most common critical issue; singletons may often hate themselves every bit as bitterly and as cruelly as multiples may hate themselves.
So again, the techniques to help a singleton recover from their own self-hatred are typically equally applicable to multiples, and, thanks to our potential to already be familiar with states of co-conscious, multiples may be better prepared to apply these recovery techniques to mitigate our self hatred, often with much better or faster results.
Whether we are singletons or multiples, when we hate ourselves for any reasons we always set ourselves up for self-sabotage, we often may choose to believe that we do not deserve better things in our lives, such as job promotions, considerate lovers, or simple common courtesy and respect.
To prove to ourselves how bad we are, we may often set ourselves up to be abused by other people.
When we set ourselves up to allow other people to abuse us we are often very likely to misinterpret the fact that other people may very easily fall into the roles we create for them to help them to become our abusers. We may often interpret abuse by people we set up to abuse us as if their abuse were proof that we are not worthy of better treatment, because if we were, wouldn"t we be treated better than we are?
The fact that all people may sometimes unconsciously set other people up to abuse themselves is something that all people tend to hide from themselves with denial. We tend to prefer to buy-in to commonly held, albeit, typically mistaken, beliefs that if other people abuse us we must really deserve to be abused.
Singletons do this, and multiples do this.
However, co-consciously aware multiples may have a distinct advantage; we may more easily watch ourselves in action.
As frustrating as it may be to watch a job promotion slide away because we sabotage it, we get to see ourselves in action, we get to learn that we are responsible for much of the misery we create in our own lives, and that simple act of observation is really a big step; a huge step.
Being aware of our own self-sabotage is too often the biggest hurdle for most people on the road to recovery, whether they are singletons or multiples.
So let"s be glad that as multiples we often have a much better opportunity to see how we sabotage ourselves because our often unique abilities to better observe our own acts of self-sabotage may more quickly lead us to a better understanding of ourselves; we may therefore often be better able to empower ourselves to change.
We may be grateful there are so many singletons out there, singletons from whose examples we can better learn to understand ourselves and to heal ourselves.
We may be grateful that our special gifts as multiples may often help us help us to learn to heal ourselves more quickly.
Our understanding of ourselves better enables us to stop sabotaging ourselves and to heal the chaos and damage we may often create with our self-sabotage.
The gift of better understanding of ourselves and our lives and our relationships with others is something we have even more to be grateful for.
We may be grateful that our healing skills grow more adept more easily, and we may be grateful that we have been given critical self-healing skills that may make us even more valuable members of every community.
We may be grateful we have something to give back to our communities, something to give to the people whom we most love who are most important to us in our lives, something to help them all to heal.
Love, Grigori Rho Gharveyn
aka Greg Gourdian, Roger Holler, et al...
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