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Children and Boundaries

{written by : Tony Samara}

Article word count : 1030 -- Article Id : 3467
Article active date : 2013-01-28 -- Article views : 1690

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Article is about :
The question is: How to deal with children in regards to boundaries. The first step is to realise that there are no boundaries; that the ideal boundary is one that you inherit from your experience of life, from what it means to grow up as a child...

Reincarnation The Neverending Journey
In Reincarnation The Neverending Journey an attempt is made to explore the conundrum of our existence. An existence that spans yesterday, today and even tomorrow. Questions surrounding the existence of the soul and our connections to the physical world, the fundamental mechanisms and the processes by which reincarnation operates through time, are carefully examined. Plausible revelations on memories and karma and their intrinsic connections to our lives today and tomorrow are explored. It is a Neverending Journey.. Your Neverending Journey....

by Pieter Heydenrych

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The question is: How to deal with children in regards to boundaries.

The first step is to realise that there are no boundaries; that the ideal boundary is one that you inherit from your experience of life, from what it means to grow up as a child and then have that as an experience of boundaries.

Real boundaries come from consciousness, meaning that when you understand the big picture, when you can see children and their realness and who they are, and you can see the potential of who they are, and the reality of where they need to go to, to get to that potential, then boundaries are very clear - they are an aspect of nature. They don"t have to be a method of controlling or socialising or making the child do things that doesn"t accord with their way of growth and their way of manifesting their great potential.

The next step is to realise who is this child, the uniqueness of this child, who is this child that you"re dealing with and when you recognize the person, when you see the person really, who they are, their feelings, their mind, their being, their energy, when you see their completeness then it is very easy to move beyond your limitations, your unconscious belief systems, your little traumas that you experienced as a child and move away from that aspect of yourself, and from that conscious realisation of another human being then interact from a more real space. This creates a very clear boundary; it is not external it is internal.

The external aspect of course is necessary, the structure that allows for this transformation and for this clarity to be manifest is dependent on the structure, it doesn"t just happen by itself -a structure is very necessary. It is not just allowing the child to do whatever, or to feel your way or to wait for the right moment for certain things to happen - you need to be active. Creating boundaries is a sense of activity and the child needs to understand this activity in a very clear way, and this means that as an adult you need to be active within the structure that creates boundaries. The structure doesn"t have to be a dualistic structure, one of good/bad, this is better than what you"ve done before or what you can do in the future is better or worse, because this of course moves the whole system of consciousness to a very limited perspective of what it means to grow and to develop as a human being.

At the same time, if we don"t create a clear activity within the structure, meaning that we don"t guide the child to move from one situation to another that helps the child to realise its potential, then that inactivity in itself becomes the structure of limitation. By not taking responsibility, by not being an adult, by not playing the part of being a conscious parent or a conscious carer or a conscious teacher, in a very real and direct and clear, tangible way - then what we create is a lack of structure, which in itself has no boundaries. This, then, only allows for the child to create its own structures because if there is no structure around, the child begins to do things as they need this structure to be manifested. In a personality sense, they need this structure to develop, and if the structure doesn"t come from outside and the discipline and the boundaries that are important for that structure to be conscious for the child and for the parents or the carer, if that is not manifested in some clear way then the child creates boundaries and usually these boundaries are negative, in the sense that the child will test where they can go. The reaction then is often, from the carer or from the teacher or from the adult, a reaction to this way of testing the adult and so the boundaries then become a play, where the adults act out from a childish space, from their old unresolved unclear aspects and they react with anger or they react with frustration or they react with a sense of limitation, that then simply feeds that lack of potential to be manifest in the child, and to be manifest within the structure that now grows into a personality and creates an idea of how the world is and how to relate to the world.

Thus, there is no escape - boundaries are necessary, but the boundaries need to be conscious ones; they need to be boundaries that really assist the child to develop and understand the world in a better way and then the question can be turned around: What are the boundaries that you as an adult are not listening to? Why are you creating this sense of reality, where the need for specific boundaries become more important than the clear understanding of how to work with a human being, the child, the human being that is in every way asking you to be real? I hope this makes sense.

It is difficult to answer such a question in a general way, simply because every situation is unique. To summarise what I"m saying, is that the boundary that comes from inside needs to be a real boundary, not just one that is put onto the child because it feels like you will help the child to develop in a certain way or understand certain things that come from the idea that these certain things are what will help the child.

Consciousness is the most important aspect in creating boundaries. So whatever you do, it has to come from a more conscious space. I would recommend for every parent, every child that is being looked after by whoever, that the person who"s creating the structure asks themselves, who is benefiting and how is the person benefiting out of the structures and boundaries that I"m creating - is it a limitation or is it a guide for the child to move to their potential?

Thank You.

Author Bio :
With the guidance of Tony Samara, discover a path of profound transformation, evolution of consciousness and inner peace. This path is open to all people from all walks of life who seek Health, Happiness and Inner Wisdom., http://www.TonySamara.TV

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